


Forgive me, Mother

by ShariDeschain



Category: The Originals (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blasphemy, Episode Tag, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-21
Updated: 2014-11-21
Packaged: 2018-02-26 12:17:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2651768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShariDeschain/pseuds/ShariDeschain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>He never really needed a father.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgive me, Mother

After killing Ansel, a long forgotten memory comes back to him.

He doesn't remember the year nor the century, but it was a really long time ago, when he was more impressed by the world around him and God was still the most powerful idea in the human mind.

He remembers the cathedral at night like something tremendous: endless stone arches, dusty silence, scent of incense and old wood, trembling candles, hundreds of painted eyes on the walls, heaven and hell lurking from the shadows.

His first time in a church, and he was drunk of blood and wine. He was angry, too. He was always angry.

“Forgive me, Father”, he shouted in front of the altar. “For I have sinned.”

And then he laughed. Laughed and laughed and laughed. But the crucified man said nothing, nor did the marble saints all around him. They remained silent even when he painted them red with their priests blood, deaf to their prayers and his challenges.

No father was there for him, no one willing to forgive him.

Some things never change.

So he throws his sins at his brother's feet, instead, and waits for a comfort he doesn't deserve, but that will come anyway, because Elijah, unimpressed by religion just like Klaus himself, had chosen to be his brother's keeper. Always and forever.

In his brother's excuses for him, Klaus finds his own innocence. In his complicity, his own excuses. In his undeserved affection, his own love.

He never really needed a father.

And Elijah's loyalty to him doesn't mean forgiveness, he knows, but it's the closest thing he can have, so he'll take it anyway.

*

“Go easy on him”, Elijah says, before leaving them alone in the living room. “He's not a vampire anymore.”

The true meaning behind those words becomes clear to him only when he slaps Kol with the back of his hand, after two minutes or less of conversation. He can't help himself, the brat's just too mouthy for his patience.

Now there's blood on his brother's lips and soon there will be a bruise on his cheek, but Kol's only answer is grinning at him, and his face may be different now, but the hatred it holds is just the same.

“She's crazy, and you are smart enough to know it”, Klaus says, angrier than before. “You're not idiotically devoted to her like our pathetic Finn either, so tell me, little brother, why?”

Still sitting on the couch in front of him, Kol wipes away the blood with his thumb, then slightly tilts his head to one side.

“You let me die”, he whispers back, as if it was a little secret that he wants to keep between the two of them. He's still smiling.

Klaus doesn't answer.

He did. He watched his brother burn in front of his eyes, and he could do nothing to save him.

He wants to say that he avenged him, at least. That he destroyed Mystic Falls and everyone in it, and made them scream and cry before that. But he didn't. He wants to say that he's sorry, that he mourned him in his heart. But he doesn't.

Kol doesn't want his lies and he's not interested in his truths either. Klaus could tell him that he missed him, that he wants him on his side not just to defeat their mother, but because maybe he wants to fix things between them, too. Hell, he could even tell him that he loves him. It's the truth, after all. He always loved all of them.

But Kol simply won't believe him, and there's nothing Klaus can do about it because he knows he's lost the right to be believed long time ago.

*

“I could call you, you know”, Rebekah said that night, months ago now. “Tell you and Hayley when she learns to say mama and dada, or what's her favourite fairytale. Stuff like that. And I could send you pictures.”

She was already sitting behind the wheel of her car, and Hope was sleeping in the child seat on the back. She hadn't cried when Rebekah had picked her from his arms.

“No”, he answered sharply.

“I'll be careful.”

“No”, he repeated. “She needs to be dead to me.”

He still remembers the look in his sister's eyes. Pity, yes, but also understanding. Even admiration.

And when he bent down for his last farewell, she kissed him softly on the lips.

“This is the bravest thing you've ever done”, were her last words to him.

Back then, he smiled. Now he wants to scream.

Giving up your daughter, killing your father, torturing your siblings and trying to kill your mother shouldn't be acts of courage. And yet, it's the best he can do for his family. It's just crazy.

He laughs, alone in his room, empty bottles on the floor next to his bed, no idea of what the hell he's doing, asking himself if he still believes there's a happy ending somewhere in his future.

*

That night the earth trembles, the sky breaks in two and the rain falls like bullets over all of them.

Esther always liked to keep herself busy, and for one hour or so, she makes all New Orleans suffer her wraith and her grief.

She loved him, and love is really hard to hide. 

If there's one thing he learned is that love is what exposes you, what makes you week. Hopefully, is also what kills you.

Lying on his bed, eyes closed and still reeking of his father's blood, Klaus smiles.

“Forgive me, Mother”, he whispers in the dark. “For you have sinned, and I had to make you pay.”

**Author's Note:**

> \- Written for the WRPG challenge @ maridichallenge, prompt Loyalty/Truth/Courage/Busyness.


End file.
